Shock me like an electric feel

Thank God for my boyfriend that i’m still here trying to survive everything

I always think to myself, if its just me or is it everyone else?

Why is it only me that i get such issues and everything has to come to me at once, then i start to think everything which has already been built up this much in me, just wondering when will be the time that i will just fall……. is it me that i don’t suit everyone or they don’t suit me?

I see the people that i make an effort to see their faces lit up, make them smile w how retarded i am, give my utmost just to maintain the friendship going.. but ykno it has never been easy just to keep up and maintain a friendship. i’m actually pretty doing well w just me alone, in my own quiet world.

Most of the time i see my effort going down the drain, i’m a selfish person deep down, always expecting a lot from everyone, stubborn in my own way, wanting everything to go the way just as i wanted. but thats me.

Really in honesty, i’m quite tired to keep up w everything, this feeling has been on and off and i really need to get rid of this. i don’t want to exhibit anymore emotions of me anymore, i don’t want to let the whole world know how weak i actually am, how i can get affected w the slightest thing ever. Enough, Rachel.